Give In
by thebarnicle
Summary: Megan deals with Peter's death, Lacey growing up and a confession her boss made.
1. Chapter 1

Set after the season finale of S2. The 'Megan' i'm describing here is a lot different than the 'Megan' that we know. So if you're thinking along the way,"Megan wouldn't do that" or something, I had a different 'Megan' in mind when I wrote this. But don't you worry, she'll be back. Oh, please catch my mistakes so I can correct them. :)

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"Mom?" Lacey called. "It's really late. Maybe you should wake up and eat a bit?"

Megan peeked under the pillow covering her face and saw her daughter flash her a concerned smile. Megan threw the pillow to the side and propped her self up with her elbows. She forced a smile back at Lacey.

"I'll be there sweetie."

Megan looked at the ceiling and shook her head slightly. Ever since Peter's death, she has been inconsolable. _If it weren't for me_, she thought,_ Peter would be alive still_. Now, that's two deaths on her hands. Peter's last words only made it harder to live through this.

"I love you, Megan. I love y-"

He didn't get to finish that sentence. He was already dead. She hugged Peter closed to her when she felt his pulse went out. The paramedics, police and her coworkers came and she just held Peter in her arms. If it weren't for Kate, she wouldn't have let go. She didn't want to let go. She didn't get to tell Peter that she loved him back, it was too late.

Megan couldn't remember much of what happened after. She was in a daze of shock, anger and just seemed to fast track to Peter's funeral. She stood far behind the mourners, trying hard not to cry. She didn't want to come closer although Kate asked her to. Her boss suggested that she should say goodbye to Peter for the last time but she couldn't. She couldn't see Peter lying down on that coffin. She has seen tons of people dead,  
lying on a slab but this was Peter.

She loved Peter.

She now regrets that she ever was afraid of what would happen between them if she said what she felt, of what comes after their 'thing'. Ever since they were stuck together, she knew Peter was special. This feeling grew as their friendship did. She was tempted to say it once but that fear kicked in and built more walls than there already were. When Peter and Dani went out, it absolutely killed her. But she just thought that it would be better than for her  
already bubbling feelings to overflow. _How completely foolish of me_, she thought.

After Peter's funeral, she took time off of work. Everyone understood that she needed time to process everything that has happened. For days on end, Megan would think of the events that transpired on a loop. She would relieve every moment and thought of endless 'what if's'. It kept her up late at night and destroyed her appetite. Lacey never left her side when she saw that her mom isn't herself. She has been by her side, holding it together for the both of them. Todd was less than understanding with this arrangement, knowing that it's a lot to put on her 14 year old daughter, but Lacey was firm that she wanted to do this. Lacey can see that her Mother needed her.

"I ordered in, Mom. I know Chinese is not your favorite but I -" Lacey was interrupted by her mother hugging her. Lacey looked up and smiled. Almost relieved that her mother actually got out of bed this time.

"Thanks, Lace. Chinese is okay. Can you set the table?" Megan said as she made her way to the counter. Lacey looked at her and nodded while smiling. She started setting the table wholeheartedly. This is the first time her mom ever wanted to eat at the table since the incident. After a couple seconds of happiness, Lacey thought of asking her Mom something. She knew it might be too early but she dove in anyway.

"Mom, are.." The little girl hesistated at first, knowing how her mother hated this question. "Are you.. okay now?"

Megan stopped what she was doing. She hated that question. She knows it's out of love that people ask her this but she never quite got how to answer this where every party wins, especially now. She couldn't ever get mad at Lacey however. Not after what she went through the past few days. She faced the little girl.

"I don't know, Lace."

Lacey looked back at her, concern on her eyes present again. Megan started to gather something that would make the little girl at ease.

"But i'm trying to be." Megan smiled genuinely. "Let's eat."

Lacey smiled then went back to the finishing the table. Megan finished transferring the food onto plates and called Lacey for some help. They started eating after everything and them has settled. Halfway through, Lacey broke the ice.

"Mom, Dad will be picking me up later for school tomorrow but if you want me to stay, i'll stay."

Megan appreciated that Lacey will still stick by her side even though she appeared okay. She loved that even though their relationship has been rocky at best, she was still there when she needed her the most. However, she needed some time alone and Lacey needed her life back.

"I'm fine, Lacey. You need to be at school. I can take care of myself." Megan said after chewing a piece of pork. Lacey just nodded and didn't prod. "What time is your father picking you up?"

"I think in 2 hours."

Megan nodded. She asked because she didn't want to face Todd. She didn't look like her prestine self after days of sleeping in and being to withdrawn to care. She definitely didn't need the look that she knows Todd will give her after he sees her at this state.

"Okay then." Megan sighed then smiled at Lacey. They continued eating until the door bell rang. Megan was immediately annoyed that Todd was early again.

"Lacey, can you please answer the door?" Megan said as she rubbed her forehead. She wanted to say more about Todd's inability to respect a set time but she knew Lacey wouldn't appreciate it. She kept her mouth shut and focused on her food. Lacey went to the door. She heard a familiar voice but it wasn't Todd's. It was..

"Dr. Gross?"


	2. Chapter 2

Megan was suprised then alarmed that Ethan was at her doorstep. _What the hell is he doing here?_ Megan specifically asked to have some distance from everything that could remind him of Peter. _Does he have some kind of death wish or something?_

"Hi, Lacey. How are you?" Said Ethan, flashing her a big smile with a hint of nervousness.

"I'm okay, Dr. Gross. Are you here for my mom?"

She saw Ethan gulped. He was also obviously sweating. Ethan slowly nodded. Lacey was for a moment confused if she should let Ethan in. She knows that her Mom doesn't want to see anyone. She put up one finger and said, "One second". She closed the door again and went to the kitchen.

"Mom, do you want to entertain?"

Megan was glad Lacey closed the door again, although it was rude. She looked at her self while Lacey and Ethan were talking and saw a mess. She also apparently smelled. Megan took a deep breath, "Do I have a choice?" then rolled her eyes. "Let Ethan in after I go into my room and ask him to eat or  
something."

Megan stood up and went to her room as Lacey did what she was told. While in there, she quickly rummaged through her closet to find something decent to wear. She should atleast seem like herself although she's quite far from it still. She heard Ethan footsteps as she settled into a gray pencil skirt and a cream sweater. She spritzed some cologne and looked in a mirror. She looked a little bit like herself now. That was good enough. She walked to her door and stopped before turning the knob. She took a deep breath.

"Ethan." She caught Ethan looking at the picture frames in the side table. Ethan looked at her and stood up while slightly twitching. "What are you doing here?"

"Mega- Dr... Uh.. Dr. Hunt." Ethan took a deep breath. "Hi, Dr. Hunt."

Megan's face didn't change and that scared Ethan more. She looked at Lacey, who was cleaning the table. "Lacey, honey, can you go to room? I'll take care of the table." Lacey put down the plate and slowly made her way to her room. When she passed Ethan, he whispered, "Lacey, don't, I need a  
witness!" with which Megan answered with her death stare. Ethan gulped again and started tweedling his thumbs.

"What are you doing here Ethan?"

Ethan took a deep breath. "It's good to see you looking up and about, Dr. Hunt."

Megan still wasn't phased with the pleasantries and since Ethan clearly wasn't answering her question, she asked slowly. "What.. are.. you.. doing.. here.., Ethan?" She crossed her arms, he's not getting anything from her unless he speaks first.

"Dr. Hunt, I came here because I thought you... uh. Uh, we wanted to see how you are doing. We've been worried."

Megan felt anger rise up on her chest, not this again. "Worried?"

"Yes, we are. I know you said don't come to you but, I thought you needed a friend. We're all here for you, whatever you need. You just-"

Megan raised her hands as if she was performing a magic trick to make Ethan disappear." Okay, Ethan, stop. I'm fine. I appreciate the gesture but you need to le-" Megan was thrown off with Ethan shaking his head. She crossed her arms again.

"You're not fine."

"Are you telling me how to feel now? I'm fine. Why wouldn't I b-"

"Because we're not!" Ethan seethed. "We lost Peter too, Megan. We're having a hard time and I'm sure you are too. I just-"

"Enough, Ethan." She couldn't take more of this pity party. She knew they couldn't do anything to make her a bit feel okay. She has never been able to get over Marianne's death and she's for sure would never get over Peter's. She didn't need to hear another more crack at trying to understand how she feels, she knows how she feels and nothing they do can ever make that go away. Ethan finally gave up and understood.

"I think it would be best if you go now." Ethan attempted to smile at her and walked out of the room and out of her apartment. Megan finished cleaning up the table.

Todd was right on time. Lacey gathered her things when she got a text from her father saying that he's 5 minutes away from the house. Before she left, she hugged her mother tightly. She felt wrong leaving her mother but she had to obey her orders. She walked to the other side of the road and waited for her father there.

Megan closed the door and stood there for a while. After, she went to the kitchen and poured wine on a glass and watched the weather channel for hours. This would go on until she fells asleep on the couch. The bedroom, if she has energy left to drag herself to it. She would be awakened by Lacey and the cycle repeats all over again. She knew what she was doing was absolutely ridiculous. She knew that her old self would never do this. But these are the only things she could do with what little energy she had. She couldn't bring herself to being the old her because the old her had Peter in it.

At about 05:00 pm, Megan stood up. She needed to change into more comfortable clothes. When she looked at her closet, she found nothing else to wear. _Seriously?_

Megan went to the laundry room and saw a huge pile of clothes. She looked at it and contemplated if she could just wear something again. Some of the clothes had stains in them so she had no choice but to wash them. She started with separating the whites and the colored. She was almost in the end of the bin when she saw a familiar leopard print blouse. A leopard blouse that had blood in it. Everything came back. A wave of emotions was felt, hitting her all at once. The wind was knocked out of her so she held on to the counter as she crumbled to the floor. She started to shake as the tears started to flow.

"Peter..." she uttered.

She sat on the floor for what seemed like hours, crying over Peter's death.

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**Note**: Huh. For some reason, I'm not completely sold with this chapter. There's something missing. Tell me what you think. Anyway, Kate's making her much needed appearance next chapter. So there.


End file.
